The Best Part

the best part of being pregnant so far? Besides the guilt-free indulging in McNuggets, SpaghettiO's, 5 solid meals a day, popcorn, etc, etc, etc, it's the happy wash. I'll be walking along, not really thinking about anything, and then I'll feel this warm glow coming from the inside. Man, I know this sounds lame, but the sun comes out from behind a cloud and I get this huge smile on my face. I feel loved, I feel loving, I feel that everything is going to be okay in the world.

You see, I'm a worrier. I worry about, well, pretty much everything. I worry that I'll never be able to afford a house on a social worker's salary. I worry that I won't be a good social worker. I worry that my kid and I won't get along. I worry that my kid is going to be into 50-Cent. I worry that someone will buy my kid a Bratz doll and I will have to be the mean mom and throw it away and it will scar them for life. I worry that I won't be able to afford a prom dress. I worry that we'll still be at war and that my child will get drafted, and he'll return as a triangular flag. I worry that civilized society will have completely and totally broken down, and that life will resemble Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451." That one I really worry about.

So, when I'm walking along and someone sets off the happy wash, it's even better if I've been deeply eembedded in Operation WorryNow all day. Because for a few minutes, the world is a safe and lovely place, where people are kind. Kids are only interested in furthering their education and the pursuit of music, poetry, photography. For a minute, I can go back to my PollyAnna roots, and remember that we'll always have enough. That I'll always be enough for my kids, and that they'll never forget where they came from.

It's at that moment that I can say with complete and total plausibility that life is really, really swell.

(First published: October 6, 2007)

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