September Update

Ok, so at this point, I'm coming up on 3 months preggo, and I still don't have an exact due date. Extremely scientific resources have indicated that it might be March 18th, and since this, according to St. Bede, was the day the world was created, I'll take it. They never hatch on their due dates to begin with.

So I'm approaching this milestone, the blessed end of the first trimester, and I've noticed that a lot of people are commenting on the 'changes your body will go through.' Very Disney, and nowhere near accurate. You wake up one day and you are PREGNANT. It's very disalarming.

Here are some changes I've noticed.

1. Instantly, I feel ten years older. I'm surrounded by children at school all day. Sure, they're only a few years younger than me, at most, but they just feel so, well, child-like. I just want to mother them all.

2. I realized that if anything besides Trivial Pursuit was going to make me competitive, it's motherhood. Holy crap. I find myself judging other's kids, their baby accessories, their parenting styles. Likewise, I am now in admiration of "the perfect kid," but I realized that I am much harsher on other moms than I thought I would be.

3. Suddenly, I'm a big fan of milk. And pickles. And Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Oreo Cakesters, Helene's Applesauce Bread, cookies of any sort, and peaches. And don't get me started on the birthday cake craving.

4. My concentration is nil.

5. We've picked the girl's name. The whole name. Not that we know it's a girl, but just to be ready. This is information that I would like to call everyone in the world and impress them with. I'm not. I'm kind of tossing the first name out there, but I'm guarding the middle name with my life.

6. I have the overwhelming urge to become as self-sustaining as possible. I want to garden, so that my child can have homemade baby food with Mommy's fresh asparagus. I bought a sewing machine, so that all my kid's Halloween costumes and blankets and prom dresses can spring out of Mommy's bare hands. It's kind of sick, actually.

7. And the biggie. Time. Time used to be this ever expanding thing, I never really cared about. I had plenty of it, I could waste a day or two of it. Now, (with the exception of nausea so horrid I'm suddenly a big fan of the couch) I feel as though every wasted day was an affront to humanity. I FEEL every day. It's as if I'm suddenly budgeting time and realizing how little of it one actually gets. I can stay in the present, but I feel the future weighing down pretty heavily. Odd.

So, there you have it. Expect more news as it happens, but I'm saving the updates for the bigger moments.

(First published: September 13, 2007)